Fionacat (fionacat) wrote,

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@grep from The Queen's View affair (C)

Alice : Well, they can be kind of scary, and sometimes even the clowns can be mean. I remember years ago, when my older sister went to a circus, one of the clowns started speaking to her. He asked her, "Madam, are you the front end of an ass?" Of course, she said no, but then he asked "Madam, are you the back end of an ass?" Again, she said no, but he carried on, saying "Then, madam, you are no end of an ass!" It was terrible, all the audience laughed and laughed at her. She was so upset, she told Uncle Harvey, knowing how quick witted he is, and how fast with a sharp answer he can be. They went back the next night, and the same thing happened. "Madam," he asked. "Are you the front end of an ass?" When she told him that she wasn't, he asked if she was the rear end. As with the previous night, she said no, and he then again "So, madam, you are no end of an ass!" and the crowd went wild with laughter. Then, however, Uncle Harvey, stepped up, and we all knew that something brilliant would follow, from the master of wit and repartee. He looked the clown in the eye, and shouted "Fuck off you red-nosed bastard!" [Beams proudly at Harvey]

Harvey : [Laughs loudly] And by the saints, the big shoe was certainly on the other foot then! Mind you, who would have guessed that those little dwarfs had such strong teeth!

Alice : [Laughs along with the memory] Yes, we were all delighted when we heard that you beat up those dwarves. [Smiles disappears] Of course, it wasn't all that funny when it turned out that they weren't dwarves at all, and were children. Hm, I suppose that lifetime ban on going to the circus will hardly apply here, will it Harvey?

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